I Wanted to Quit Life More Times Than I Can Count
There have been countless times when I’ve wanted to give up.
Moments where I even thought about “unsubscribing” from life.
And the truth is, I’ve had a comfortable life.
I’ve never lacked the essentials.
I’ve had opportunities that many people don’t have.
And yet… that feeling of emptiness kept showing up.
A big part of that emptiness came from a simple question:
What am I even striving for?
To work, earn a salary, pay bills, get into debt,
and repeat that cycle for 40 years…
just to maybe rest at 65?
Is that really the goal?
I studied something that never truly fulfilled me.
And even though people have always recognized that I’m intelligent, capable, and able to learn fast… things haven’t worked out for me financially or professionally.
I don’t fit into the traditional system of working under someone else.
It doesn’t make me happy.
And that creates a strange kind of frustration.
Because I’ve seen other people — not necessarily more capable — follow that path, stay consistent, and build financial stability over time.
Meanwhile, I’m still at zero.
And that question keeps coming back:
How is it possible that someone with the ability to learn and adapt… still can’t seem to find his place in this system?
I lived a long time with that feeling of having no clear meaning.
And still, I chose to keep going.
And it was worth it.
Not because I suddenly found a purpose…
but because of the small things I would have missed if I had stopped.
Moments I didn’t plan.
Conversations I didn’t expect.
Places I ended up in without knowing why.
Even simple things — like training, feeling my body alive, running under the rain
or having a clear mind after a long day — started to matter more than I thought.
Because even though I still haven’t found a clear purpose,
life has shown me something important:
The experience of living, by itself, is already worth it.
I’ve had a blessed life.
And because of that, something has changed in me.
I don’t want to live just to achieve personal goals.
I want to contribute.
I want my abilities to serve something beyond just myself.
I’m still waiting for that moment of clarity.
That purpose that makes me go all-in.
But in the meantime, I found something that gave me peace:
Surrendering to God.
Maybe it’s not about finding my purpose.
Maybe it’s about fulfilling God’s purpose through me.
When I started asking for guidance… something shifted.
I began making decisions I wouldn’t have made before.
Moving in directions I had never considered. I will talk more about this later.
And most importantly, I let go of that constant pressure
of having everything figured out.
Now I move differently.
I still work hard.
I still sacrifice.
But there’s a difference:
Now I trust.
It doesn’t mean everything will just fall into place.
Effort is still part of the journey.
But faith gives you something stronger:
The ability to keep going even when you don’t understand the path.
And where am I now?
I’m a mining engineer in Australia… working Monday to Friday cleaning cars.
That’s my current reality.
I’m doing this while my visa is still valid, saving money, trying to figure out what my next step will be.
What’s the meaning of this?
Honestly… only God knows.
But here I am.
Still moving forward.
Still showing up.
Still trusting the process.
With a clear intention to improve my situation —
but also with the humility to accept that maybe there are still things I need to learn.
And maybe… that’s why I’m here.
There are a couple of things that have kept me going.
One of them is sport.
Being physically active has saved me more times than I can count.
It allows me to experience life more fully, improves my mood,
and gives me the energy and clarity to keep moving forward.
And the second one — which came later — is God.
I never thought I would write something like this.
I never considered myself a religious person.
But God has changed me.
And now, I trust Him.
Maybe you could listen too.
And see what happens.
